Thursday 29 September 2011

So... Yep. I'm still here. I figured it was time to post.. To let you all know I am still kickin it.

I had a few more bad days since that last post... Isabella has been gone just shy of a week. I have no idea why she wont come home but I've become more acclimated to my solitary existence. I've been eating more treats than usual... Substituting them for actual food. Not wise. I just end up purging and having a killer headache after along with that awful taste in my mouth. Still hovering anywhere from 117.75-118.5... I think I might be getting my period soon. I never really know... It's always been irregular. And when I was thinner I lost it for about a year. The day I got it back... That was a dark day.

I've been trying to just be happy lately. I figure I just need to trust things will work out if I'm doing the best I can. There's nothing more I can do besides my best anyways. I have to trust that God and my family and my friends will be there for me. So that's my new thing. Do your best, hope for the rest, and go forward boldly with confidence. There is no point in wasting time worrying. That time is precious and better spent elsewhere ( like studying, in my case)

I think I will stop eating early in the mornings.... And just eat at like 9 or 10. Sometimes I can even get through the whole day without eating. Today I packed yogurt strawberries and a small apple. I would have not brought anything because didactic ends at ten... But I have to stay for lunch hour to practice scanning for a test I have Monday. I've been reading blogs and catching up this morning.... But I will comment on them later today.

Special shout out to all the beautiful comments on my last post.

JP. I just love you. You are such a wonderful friend and a beautiful person. You inspire me and lift me up and I am so grateful for that.

Thin thrills: your comment was so touching. My heart hurts for you and your suffering. We can all get through this. Together. I know it. Stay strong beautiful. You are deserving of a beautiful life.

Drink me: ain't that the truth :) best feeling in the world.

Time to get off the bus. Love you ladies. Stay strong.

Ace

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3 comments:

  1. Longing Girl29 September 2011 at 20:50

    Hi. I really like ur blog. I just started a new blog but I am not new to eating disorders, just saying hi :) I'm kind of alone since I have no actual Ana friends. I just saw that you follow Molly

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  2. Nadia 2 October 2011 at 06:45

    Hello dear. I'm glad you're in a better mind despite the bad eating days. I'm sure you can do it if you stay cool, calm and collected (!).

    I hope Isabella's break has given you a rest though-what with her crying and things!

    Fat free love xx

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  3. missinsanity.4 October 2011 at 05:02

    ace!

    i hate how blogger shows most recent posts, so when you don't check every blog, you can miss some. (and look at this, i'm a few days late. *sigh*)

    hope you're doing well. :) WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN, I SWEAR. ^^

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