Monday, 24 September 2012

The Weekend.

Sunday I weighed in at 109.25

I think that was a bit of a fluke tho. This morning I was 110.25, which I think is more accurate.

Pretty sure my roommate got me sick. UGH.

This weekend was good. I went on a date on Friday. He took me to sushi (I had a cucumber salad with red snapper shrimp and octopus and then a miso soup... NO sushi :) ) and then took me to a ballet. So nice of him, since he knows I was a ballerina for 10 years!! It was lovely, but I'm not really interested in dating him. Then it was my friend's birthday on Saturday so I made her a red velvet cake and brought it to her... then it was my roommates birthday so we went for fro yo and watched a movie. Then yesterday we had a birthday cake for her. Lots of cake. Frick.

Then. I went to this party and saw that boy I'm lovin on lately.... and his on again off again was there too. So I was a bit sad... but then I ended up chatting with him and his roommates for about an hour. And then this one girl who I think is just the most wonderful thing said "Everytime I see you you just shrink!!" Made me feel good. The boys were gunna come over and finish off the birthday cake but then the one roommate (who took me longboarding) just txted me that they would come another time which was fine.. cuz I was tired. But then the OTHER one who is all up in my business txted me and was like

"Salad Party??"

and I'm all "What is that?"

He's like "It's like a cake party, but salad instead."

"You're actually doing that?"

"Well no, but you can come eat salad at our house if you want."

Uh...... so I didn't txt back. So he calls me. Twice. To ask if we want to come watch a movie. So we go (cuz I figure more facetime with le boy....) and I bring the cake with me. We ended up watching the gayest movie of all time and le boy was in and out so I didn't even get to sit with him :(

Not like it would make a difference if I did.... with his frickin roommate being the big old cockblock that he is. FUUUUU.......

Whatever. I guess I have to wait it out right?? Not much I can do about an on again off again. I can't be mad, cuz like they have history... but I sorta am. I just need to let it be, and it will sort itself out. But I think I need to make it clear I'm NOT interested in Salad Boy or Longboard Boy at ALL.

I'm so retarded when it comes to boys I like. I'm always convinced that I'm SOOOOO annoying. And not pretty enough.

So we got home so late I was too tired to even wash off my makeup. Couldn't even get myself out the door to run this morning. Had a huge nap when I got home, and then had a salad. Just got out of the shower now... and I need to study for all the big friggin tests I have coming up.

I hope I feel better tomorrow so I can run in the morning. I feel bad I didn't today but like... I couldn't even decide what to eat for breakfast. Anyway. My sister just facetimed me so I better go.

Love you ladies. <3 stay strong



Monday, 17 September 2012

Case of the Mondays

Hey babes.

Weighed in at 110.75 this morning. My jeans i used to not be able to do up are almost baggy now.Then I went for a run. Then I saw someone get hit by a car. Gotta say, not as funny in real life.

Anyway. This weekend was kinda weird. Started out good. Me and a friend went shopping at west Ed on Friday. It's been a while since I've opened up I someone.... It was nice. We talked about her brother that passed away. My grandma too. And about being homesick and things we are frustrated with. Life, love, and of course school. Sigh school....... Always permeating my life. Then I went home and me and the roomies went to get fro yo and watched a movie.

Saturday I stayed home to study all day while they went to the waterpark. I don't feel any smarter, by the way. Then they came home and wanted to go out so we got all dressed up and out we went. Danced for a bit and then went to a party... Where this guy I like (who I thought was broken up with his whacko girlfriend) was hanging out with said girlfriend and I didn't talk to him at all :(....

The next night we had planned a bonfire at our house... But then my roommate decided to change it to her boyfriends house. SO stupid. Especially when we bought everything for it and had the idea (more specifically... Me.) and then the boy and the girlfriend show up again.... Ugh. Awkward. So I was pretty bummed. Cuz before this weekend I had hung out with him at parties a few times and I was thinking it MIGHT go somewhere? Clearly not.

This week is gunna be packed though. I am modeling for a girls school project tomorrow so I have to find something balletic to wear.... Her assignment is angles and curves. I hope she sees more angles than curves on ME.... And then I might go long boarding with that boy's roommate. (staying present and pretty and perfect... I hope haha).... Need to find something to do wednesday. Maybe study. Then Thursday me and a girlfriend are getting take out and studying.... Friday is tutti frutti Friday with the roomies and I have a date. He is taking me to the ballet. Should be exciting :)

I have a test today I gotta cram a bit for.... Only 3 weeks into school and I feel like I'm drowning already. it's nice to come on here and unload a little bit.

Super homesick. Wishing I could drive away.




Stillimagining: thanks for your feedback!! If my BMR was that high.... That would be fantastic!!! I wish there was a way to test that. The online ones seem so inaccurate :/ like some of them I'm like no way I can eat that many cals and not gain!!!! I hope you have a lovely week xo

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

le wha?

So my loves. New lowest weight. On my evil scale.

112.25 = 107.25 on my mom's.

Wonder where that came from.

Bought a bunch of groceries cuz I FREAKED OUT the other day that I had no warm food. I think that the running has burned a bit of fat so I'm less insulated.. way more susceptible to the cold. So I got those eating right cajun chicken things and a bunch of veggies I can roast with it, beef cubes for egg drop soup, ham and pea canned soup (that I add charred cabbage and onion to), and then more yogurt and fruit and salad stuff. Oh, and I got a baggie of oatmeal. 110 cals for one whole serving! Pretty good.

I'm trying not to plague anyone with my food and exercise schemes... so I'm just gunna go on about it for a few minutes here. Would love feedback.

Basically I'm doing cottage cheese or yogurt and fruit for breakfast (occasionally a muscle milk (150 cal, 20g of protein) if I'm rushed) then a salad with salsa and either extra lean taco meat and refried bean or chicken breast for lunch and then more salad or soup for dinner, or today I wanted a treat so I had a plate of fruit for a snack and then had 2 little brownies I baked yesterday and a little melted chocolate. Chased it with over a liter of water so I purged up a little bit of it. I dunno I've kept the weight down this way, and I like having dessert for dinner sometimes. Is that super bad??

I also think that days I have tests I am allowed to have some form of healthy starch... so I can think more clearly. Like oatmeal for breakfast or a whole wheat pita with a smear of hummus and TONS of fresh veggies for lunch. Last time I had two tests I had dry cereal on my yogurt AND a pita at lunch... and miraculously I was still down in weight the next day... but I dunno if I plan on making that a regular thing.

I drink a ton of water and diet pepsi is still a vice.... but I don't know does that seem ok? I get really ineffective when I just DON'T eat so I've gotta make sure I eat something... and I like this weight and I like dessert. I'm not sure. I don't know. What do I do? When I type it out it seems like SO MUCH FOOD..........................................................

I have a date tomorrow. With B. Only took him a whole freakin year to do it. He asked me super nice.... but then he added something douchy afterward. He's all, "Would you like to go on a date on Wednesday?" and I'm like "Yes :)" and he's all *entering it in his phone calendar* "Do you spell dyke with an I or a Y?" So I'm in his phone as Date With Kit Kat Dyke. Wow, what a prize he's turning out to be. I'll update on how it goes.

Gotta go on a run tomorrow too... and take a test. So hopefully that all goes well... I better get off here and pick out some clothes and make a lunch for tomorrow. Sending my love to all of you reading.

Stillimagining and Ell: thank you for your comments <3 You girls are beautiful.




Wednesday, 5 September 2012

School. Part 2.

I am finding it so hard to do ANYTHING consistently lately. My poor blog.

Most important(?) points: my weight is back down, I am moved into my new house with 5 roommates, I am still single as ever, busy with year 2 of school, blah blah blah blah. Nothing too special has come about in the last little while. But things are good.

My mom is pretty sad though. She really is lonely now that I'm back up North and Isabella moved away with her new husband. Wish there was something I could do for her... but it seems like the thing that makes her the least stressed is when I tell her she doesn't have to call me back cuz I'm fine and she can just go to sleep instead. Which sucks. Cuz as much as I like the girls I'm living with... I'm pretty lonely myself.

You won't believe what I said to B the other day. He came over cuz he wanted a tour of my new house... so we were sitting in my living room just chit chatting and my phone goes off and he just dives for it and somehow I end up ontop of him and then we are on the floor. Don't worry, totes not what you think. Things didn't go that way (which is good cuz I am very very much over him. 100%) and he's all.... You are SO skinny. How do you stay that skinny? For real? So I just stared at him poker faced and go "Starvation."

Ha. The truth can be so liberating. Too bad I didn't tell him about Mia while I was at it.

I DID quickly follow with "I try to eat really healthy and drink lots of water." Partially true.

Anyway. I guess bedtime would be a good thing about now..... I'm starting to get some hunger pangs and it is WAY too late to eat.

Thanks Miss Insanity, Fat Piggy and Avy for your comments. Love you girls <3

Love to all my readers.