Wednesday 7 September 2011

Just some ramblings.

My mom was supposed to come up and visit today... and of course it's not happening.

After I had called her absolutely falling apart she said she would drive up Tuesday. Then it was pushed to Wednesday, and now Thursday. I'm so upset I feel like I don't want her to come up at all.

Intake has been 800 or less for the last two days. It's good in the fact that is less than 1000... and I'm not really trying to restrict. But I know it should be lower. Water is helping. I drink 1/2 a litre at breakfast, 1 litre throughout the school day and at least 1/2 a litre when I get home. Then 2 glasses with supper.

I was at school for 9 solid hours yesterday. I had a late afternoon lab, so I went for a swim during my break. Man I'm out of shape. My arms were so tired!.. So I think I'll keep doing that to lean them out a bit. Hopefully I don't bulk up... I don't think they can if I'm not swimming every day?

Not knowing what I weigh is killing me. I'm so scared it's going to be BAD when I get on. It's like weight has a mind of it's own and even if you don't eat much and don't eat bad things... if you don't watch it like a hawk it will creep up on you.... Just because it wants to torture you.

How amazing would it be if you saw a picture of yourself on someone's thinspo??

PS: Hello to all my new readers.. it's always nice to know more and more are listening :)

Much Love,

Ace

x

2 comments:

  1. hope things go ok with your mom... and i know what you mean about the scale and weighing in... it definitely has a mind of its own!
    it would be amazing to find myself in someone's thinspo! i'd probably have to punch myself to see if it was for real...
    stay strong and you will be someone's thinspo someday!!
    <3

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