Friday, 10 January 2014

Post B/P

Hate myself when I do this. Eat less at lunch so I figure I can have a little mini treat. And then I have more. And more. AAAAAND more. Dammit. 

No. NO. Stahp Ace, just stahp. 

I'm now screening calls from a boy I went out with. I figured he could leave me a message if he wanted. No message. Oh well. I really wasn't feeling it anyways. He's super nice and cute and took me on a great date.... but no spark. No crush. No nothing. And call me crazy buuuuut I kinda am wanting to feel that again. Like, I'd go out with him again sure. But I wasn't really dying to talk to him at this precise moment. I can just see that conversation. "Hey! What are you up to?" "Ohhh nothing. Just stuffed my face with cake and am working on reversing all that damage. Hold on while I run to the bathroom quick." Yeah. Nah, I'm good. Roll it to voicemail please and thank you. 

Anyway. We are going to Hawaii for Easter this year. There's my motivation for being good. Even better, maybe I should promise to post bikini pictures on here. Then I'll be in trouble if I don't. What do y'all think? It'll be my first time putting pics of myself up. Nervous, but this is probably the best place to do it. I'm sure y'all will all be sweet to me. Let me down easy XD haha!

Honestly I don't know how I'm going to be brave enough. I'm too scared to even get on the scale these days. Let alone put on a bikini. And take pictures. And post them. Oh man. I need to get a grip and just get on the scale. It always just seems so hopeless when it's always the same number though. I feel like weight loss for me never works unless I do serious serious restriction. I'm always 108 on my mom's scale, which is more like 113 with my evil scale. I went a whole week eating NOTHING but veggies and protein and guess what happened? Diddly squat. Firm at 108. Makes me frustrated. And then I go well eff it I may as well eat what I want. And then I regret it and purge which ISN'T helping me at all. 

Blah blah blah. Complain complain. Put on your big girl panties Ace. 

2 more days with the sister. I feel a bit like a monster for looking forward to the quiet.

Thanks for all the kind words and advice. Made me feel so much better :) Jax, Bella, SweetandsoUr and missinsanity <3 you are all so amazing and smart and wonderful. 

I'm going to get on the scale tomorrow morning. I'm going to. I promise. I'm going to get on the scale. Post my weight. Make new goals. Stop caving. Drink lots of fluids. I'm still working out so I don't need to worry much about that. It's time for a bit of a revamp I think.




  1. girl, i remember the good old days when i was 108. im 140 now...can you even believe that? use that for your dont wanna be fuckin 140 lol...youre doing great!
    i think you should post oics...its way more motivational ; not only for you but for us fatties (; GOOD LUCKK

  2. Hawaii! I'm jealous.
    On the subject of bikini pictures, my advice would be not to *promise* it. It'll add a lot of stress and worry, and lord knows we could all do with a little less stress and worry. Use just wearing a bikini as motivation. Then you can decide at the time whether or not you want to post pictures. I won't think any less of you either way :)

    Good luck xx

  3. no, *you're* amazing and smart and wonderful. silly.

    scales suck. (until you see the number you've been waiting for.) hawaii is amazing. my friend moved there a few years back. i'd be jealous, if i could swim. i still am actually, just because it's beautiful. i admire your spine. seriously. but putting up pics can be scary. or taking pics. at least in my opinion, don't promise pics. if they happen, they happen.

    two more days until peace and quiet! get some confetti. :) revamp it up, girl. rock on xx