I'm down to 119.75 these last two days. Which I guess is good, considering I've only been back on track for 3 days (Starting at some 121.5 lbs.) So almost two pounds gone. I guess that is a good rate... But not as fast as I would like.
School near killed me this week. 7 labs that are two hours each a week plus 4 hours of classroom a day. I have 4 tests this week. None of which I have studied for. I'm just sick of it already. I'm beginning to wonder if I chose the right career.
Anyway. I've been pondering on my life alot lately... Specifically superimposing where I am on the path of my life and where I THINK I should be. Obviously these are not conducive to eachother. There are a lot of areas where I want to be further progressed than I am. I'd like to be thinner, more on top of my studies, have a boyfriend, be more positive, having more friends..... Lots of things. Sometimes it can be very frustrating, especially because I feel like I'm trying to be better and toiling to improve myself.... But I feel like I just don't have it in me. Like I don't have the potential.
But then I thought about it like this:
It's like chipping away at a block of marble. Bit by bit. It takes time to sculpt a masterpiece, but persistence and focus is key. Focussing on the end goal. Doing your best every day. It takes time and patience. It takes thought, care, and determination. And I expect alot of myself, so there is alot of refining to do. It will take longer for me to finish my masterpiece than others to finish theirs. There is more to carve. More details I wish to engrave. More excess to chip away. Sleeker lines, a finer design. A longer path, but in my eyes a greater one.
My heart is good, my intent is pure. My will is stronger than my arm. I just need to give my arm time to catch up... And that is hard for me to understand and accept.
I will get there.
Love,
Ace
X
Well done on the loss.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand what you mean when you say you feel like you dont have it in you, to push yourself harder...I think its true when they say you're your biggest critic. But I have faith that you have it in you, the world is yours if you want it! =)
I love your metaphor also =) I hope you achieve everything you wish love, dont give up =)
that is such a beautiful analogy:) Ull definitely get there! a little longer than most and definitely with lots of struggling but that will make u all the stronger in the end<3 & congrats on the loss!
ReplyDeleteGood job on your loss! With such a punishing school schedule I don't know how you even have time to blog or work out! You're very inspiring :)
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