Ack. I wish I had fun things to say!! My life is le boring lately. 

We went shopping for Isabella's trousseau yesterday... which was fun!... for the first 3 hours. (Keep in mind we have ALREADY gone trousseau shopping just a few weeks ago....) But it's finally done so we can all breathe easy. 

Meeting a couple of the roomies this Tuesday. And then I have to track down 3 more before the end of this week. Ugh. Down a little in weight today. 2 lbs to my lowest weight. Then it's (hopefully) downhill from there. It'll feel great to be back to normal again. 

My sister is back with her 4 very messy very active very LOUD children. Only till this Tuesday though, which is great! I don't mean to sound like a heartless b*tch or anything... it's just like.... I just want some peace and quiet. Without kids, without noise, without having to entertain others. And it's really difficult to keep anything healthy in the house because they just hoover it. Berries? Gone. Cucumber? Gone. Hardboiled eggs? Gone. Pretty much the only thing they don't eat of mine is the diet yogurt (that has aspartame in it...) But my other sister (who is a COMPLETE whack) eats a whole container in two sittings. It's like EFF OFF. If you eat kraft dinner, butter, bread, chips, cheese, cookies, pizza etc etc as part of your daily diet, you should have NO claim on the good stuff!! Let the people who are trying to be healthy at least have a shot. Yeah, I'd LOVE to have a slice of the hot, cheesy pizza we just got. But I'm not a boy, 5 years old, or breastfeeding. So no, I don't get to have it. So get the hell away from my cantaloupe. And boil your own damn eggs.

Speaking of my whacko sister... I can't remember if I gave her a name on here yet. Let's call her... Lexi. So Lexi is just this barrel of issues. Like... I don't even know if I can even begin. I'll try to condense it.

The below text is a massive rant about Lexi. If you just wanna skip all the purple text, feel free. But I just have to get it out. I can't even take it.

 Lexi has to do everything to a complete and utter extreme. First she wants to eat healthy. So naturally she restricts herself to a "treat day" (aka binge fest) once a month. Then she wants to be vegetarian. So OBVIOUSLY the best choice is to not eat eggs, beans, lentils, or tofu, and basically starve your body of proteins to the point of severe anemia. THEN she decides to eat meat again. So what does she do? Starts frying ground beef for BREAKFAST. Vomit. 

She decides that girls are too mean to her at school (it's high school, get over it you prissy bitch) so she gets homeschooled. She decides that her boobs aren't big enough. So she gets MASSIVE implants (like a size D... she's MAYBE 5'3. It looks friggin stupid). She decides to start dressing like a slut... so she buys EVERYTHING in a size 00/xs/petite. But guess what? Your chest is a size MEDIUM. So you just look like a tramp.

Then she decides that she wants white blonde hair like mine was. So she gets it dyed if she PROMISES to not flatiron it every day. So she promises she won't. But then, oh wait. She flatirons it every day for over an hour. Her hair is naturally dark, coarse and curly. And she's making it white and pin straight. So what does it do? Falls out, duh. So what is her solution? Make mommy and daddy buy her hair extensions so she can continue to bleach and straighten. 

She won't get a drivers license so she has to be personally chauffered every place she goes. She got married to a guy who she met online after three months. He was (as I told EVERYONE) a complete scumbag and she ended up racking up about $20 000 in emergency plane tickets home (then she went back because she missed him... TWICE), divorce lawyers, moving expenses, etc etc etc. Not to mention her stupid dog (it's a chihuahua.. named Bambi. Of course). She dresses it up in these stupid clothes. She pretty much starved it for the first few years so Isabella and I started feeding her cheese so she wouldn't die. Pretty sure she just wanted the dog to be as tiny as possible. Sick. It's an animal. Don't friggin project your shit on an animal. 

If you ask her she has a VAST history of sexual assault (BULL SHIT) dating back to when she was 3. She apparently remembers it (uhm, it's a psychological FACT you can't). Then her Iraqi boyfriend raped her (uhm, no. You messed up and you wanted to cover it up) then she got married to aforementioned dickhead, THEN she started screwing her college professor (she was having my mom DRIVE her to the college to go have sex with him. Did I mention he was her ETHICS professor??? Oh, the irony just slays me), and NOW she wants to date her BOSS (who wants to date her too) who is like 50 and has CHILDREN as old as her. 

She wants every male on the face of the planet to want to bang her.... INCLUDING mine and Isabella's boyfriends. She tries to make us feel ugly, fat, and terrible. When I was at my lowest weight (the year I barely made it through my performances) I was having a day where I just felt fat. I am red in the face bawling, and my mom is trying to tell me that I'm really thin. I look at Lexi and she just goes... "Well.... you're not really fat..."      .... Holy shit. If there's a time to bite your tongue and cram it, that was it Lexi. Good job. 

She is seriously robbing my mom and dad of ALL their money to buy her effing hair extensions, processed food (those 100 calorie dessert bars. She calls them granola bars. Stupid cow), skin and hair products, makeup, clothes that DON'T fit, stupid shit for her room, clothes for her stupid dog, tuition (where she met her professor she was screwing), practicum expenses, gas, therapists she WON'T go see (they don't understand her situation!!!!).... the list goes on. She can drop over $300 on a trip to the drugstore just to "pick up a couple things". 

I can't even stand it. I just want to shake her sometimes. Like, ALL of us have BEGGED her to stop it. My parents are beside themselves. Personally, I would tell them to tell her to bugger off. She wants to eat cheap shit, she can buy her own cheap shit. She wants to order things online? Get your own credit card and figure it out. She wants to go and sleep with her professors? Walk two blocks and screw to your heart's content. She wants to move halfway across the USA to get married? Fine. Don't expect a 5th plane ticket in the mail any time soon, much less someone coming out to GET your sorry ass. But... I'm not a parent. I have no idea what they must be going through. So I offer my opinion when it's asked for... but I try not to judge their decisions. They're wonderful people; it must KILL them to see her do this. 

I'm so angry at her. We try to help her time and time again. We try to save her from unneccessary grief. We try to remind her of what she's been through and help her not to make the same mistakes. What does she do? Pretty much tells us to kiss her ass and throws it in our faces. The rage I feel toward her is insurmountable. HOW can she do that to her PARENTS?? The people who love you and would do ANYTHING for you????? How the hell does that process in your friggin head that it's okay to do that? What is WRONG with you?!?!?!?!

One of these days I'm going to SNAP and just let her have it. All hell is gunna break loose and she'll be looking down the maw of the angry beast that's inside me. I hate her. I hate her for what she's done. I hate her for what she's doing and will continue to do until she utterly destroys herself and takes as many people down with her as she can. This can't (and won't) end well. 

Anyways. I better get dressed, I have to leave in about 30 mins. Sorry for the psychotic rant, hopefully it was overlooked for the most part. Love you girls, welcome to the new readers <3

Love, 

Ace

x